Gustavus, Pamela

The square of values according to Schulz von Thun everything is in balance!

We often strive for balance, for balance and fulfillment and usually mean the balance between two different areas: private life and working hours, child and career, business and recreation.

These are all external conditions, but what about the inner balance? According to the square of values that the communication scientist Schulz von Thun has further developed from existing models, every property in us also needs a counter pole.
Perspekto Coaching, Coaching Berlin, Coaching hamburg, The square of values
Figure I: The square of values according to Schulz by Thun Perspekto Coaching

So a person who is very ambitious and defines ambition as a high value in his life would do well to also deal with the opposite value. This value could be positively formulated as serenity or relaxation and, according to the Schulz von Thun model, does not represent an opposition in the sense of being ambitious or calm, but a so-called sisterly virtue. It is necessary to be both ambitious and calm.

After all, only those who give space to ambition and serenity can continue to remain ambitious and thus prevent the driver of healthy ambition from turning into an unhealthy stubbornness that has a blocking effect. Often the sisterly virtue is something that is difficult for us at first, with which we are not so easy to be in contact.
Learning task Serenity

An ambitious person may not even come up with the positively charged word serenity, but rather with a negatively charged word such as laziness or listlessness or the like. So that ambition does not turn into stubbornness, the big learning task here is to integrate serenity. For those people who are rather lacking in drive, the opposite direction applies: the sisterly virtue of ambition should join the actually positive quality of composure, so that relaxed composure does not become indifferent laziness.

In coaching, with the help of the square of values, it is possible to work out in which direction the client can develop in order to get into balance or to achieve concrete professional or personal goals. The square of values is also very suitable for determining one's own strengths and weaknesses.

You can either start with a supposed weakness and think about which strength you can integrate here as a sisterly virtue so that both values support each other, or you can start with the strength and think about which sisterly virtue you can put to her side so that the strength does not fall over into a blocking pattern.

For example, the thrifty person also needs the generous one, so that thriftiness does not turn into excessive stinginess. The generous, on the other hand, needs the thrift so that it does not come to waste.

Anyone who attaches great importance to the value of helpfulness has a lot to gain from bringing self-care into his life, so that the actually positive willingness to help does not turn into unhealthy sacrifice. However, this is especially difficult for especially helpful people for them, the negative value of egoism is quickly in the room due to the value of self-care.

How can I take care of myself without feeling selfish? Here we work out many small steps in a coaching session it is about integrating a new quality in life without bending over backwards or betraying previously important values.

Because the best news about this model is: nothing is black and white! We do not have to make a decision and say goodbye to a cherished value completely, but may unite many, at first glance, contradictory parts in us.

The square of values in coaching

What can the square of values do, what can it be used for in coaching?
Making visible of internal conflicts
Sharpening of self-perception and self-knowledge
Working out your own Strengths and weaknesses
Personality development
Self-acceptance even unloved personality parts
Understanding of one's self, but also for other people with seemingly contrary values to one's own.

The square of values is also suitable for stress management and burnout prevention, because with its help, internal drivers and motors can be revealed.

The square of values offers us a choice between different, situation-appropriate action strategies. Because depending on the situation and context, it can make sense to put different values in the foreground. In some constellations or phases of life it may be good to be selfish or ambitious, in others willingness to help or serenity support us better in achieving our goals and in our happiness.

Let us take a closer look at your individual values as part of a coaching for your personal and professional development, for more satisfaction and inner balance.